Heat is making my brain swell...

sigh...Another day in hell's kitchen..record temperatures..Sucks ass!!
OK I have the mother of the bride..momzilla..Her head is squarely up her ass..She changed the menu 6 times today..f me...I am stuck with menus floating around from 4 years ago..not much mine..OK not really I created a Pakistani menu just for her..turns out the bride wants a western menu..this is only the 6Th. reception they are having from around the world. Who the fuck does this???? Is this to prolong the honeymoon? WTF..sigh
I found out today that other menus are floating around that do not have current pricing...I hate this part as I am once again taken out of the kitchen to do mundane paper work..My fingers are regaining their sense of touch..no more picking things out of the oven with bare hands.

I have solice in cooking for me tonight..My take on Italian..mm corn pasta, watermelon cherry tomatoes, fresh basil from my friends garden, really nice spicy olive oil, organic zucchini. and some really awesome buffalo choriso...so good..Top off with a local made asiago cheese and some balsamic reduction..never forget my fave hot sauce..This is truly my fave dish to make..I never have much time..so this does the trick every time..If only I could cook it like it was for one not 10..What are you having for dinner?

I hate work email...

Ok I am at home checking my work email....I do not know why I am always shocked at the stupid things my Party Planner will promise a client. They want a plated dinner for 200...hmmm what part of no parties larger than 120 did they not understand...So I do not know just how bad this is just yet,,for all I know they are offering a 6 course dinner with 4 kinds of main dish as an option...Fuck me..This would be fine but I will be plating this from a hot box and 3 8 foot folding tables behind a portable curtain...I hate this part as my tounge is always sore from biting it trying not to swear.
I really hate emails because they so vague..Last week I lost my shit all over a party planner..She is so stupid..ok she is young but so what..She acually told me the client thinks my menus are too WHITE...What the Fuck!!! This might have been funny in person but to email me this is humourless and insulting...Any way, I did create a menu for a Pakistani wedding.. Why could she not have asked me to make a Pakistani inspired menu...I love the challenge..insulting me does not inspire me. OK enough ranting here...
OK I have shut down my work email window..time to think happy thoughts...tonight's dinner, I am kinda scared for my bank account today..I am going shopping! I have to go to the book store..always dangerous in the cook book section...I have to go to the computer store..I always get hung up on anything for my ipod...and then grocery shopping...Going to my fav place to shop...very dangerous as the have the biggest selection of condiments from all over the world..ok..I may not always have food in the fridge but I do have great condiments...lol..oh and they have the best grass fed organic bison..yumm I am thinking about a nice heirloom baby tomato salad with a crisp balsamic reduction....I also have to get the beasts some cat food...nothing like being woken up by being chewed on because they have no food. I am sure I will be that crazy cat lady that dies and is eaten by her cats lol

This was a cheeky dish for the culinary team to make. When we mention to people we cater at the aquarium, they say oh so you make fish and chips and burgers...sigh
The catering team came up with our version of fish and chips.
Herbed potatoe pancake (chips) sauted swiss chard (cole slaw) pan seared herb crusted ocean wise albicore tuna ( fish..duh) and celriac romoulade ( fancy Tartar sauce) Garnished with swiss chard curls. We had alot of fun making this dish and were the life of the party!

Finally have a day off....

Ok I finally have the day off..and I am still obsessing about work. I really love my job..but some days are harder than they should be. I was inspied by the book Julie & Julia to start this blog.

Well let's just say as a child I did not see myself as becoming a chef. All I knew at the age of 5 was I wanted to work at the world famous Aquarium. I worked many odd jobs and was mostly aimless and just picking up a pay check. I worked in green houses, planting vegetables, worked in Dutch bakery, made sandwiches at a deli. OK OK I did not see the patern till I was much older. I got a job in a bistro and bar in the front of the house, I climbed my way all the way to the top of the food chain. All I really needed to learn was the cooking part.....One of my chefs moved on to become the Sous Chef at the Aquarium, I knew I needed to change my life. I was getting bored with the bistro and bar and starting to drink more than reasonable. So I applied for a job to cook at the Aquarium. When the Sous Chef called to say I got the job...The 5 year old in me was floating on clouds...I made my dream come true!!!! OK it took me 30 years to do it but hey I still did it!

So at the age of 35, I was back to the bottom of the food chain. I entered the culinary world of Gorilla cooking. In other words learning to cook but also in impossible conditions. I learnt allot about myself through cooking and also the fact that I now had to live paycheck to paycheck again in my life. I had broken up my 5 year relationship with a guy I thought I wanted to marry..long story..I had lost my house and 2 cars and was back to living in a crappy basement suit that I could barely afford. So, I dived right into the culinary shark tank so to speak. I was a sponge, I learnt everything I could at work and the go home and try to duplicate everything I saw. I think this is why Sponge Bob is my hero, he's also a cook. I became happy and so fulfilled in my life, I had found my calling.

Fast forward 5 years..I am now the Sous Chef in charge of all food services and catering. Life is a constant learning experience. Middle management in a non profit world is a challenge, I jump out of bed everyday to see if I will meet the days challenges...and there is always challenges. BBQ staff not showing up for work..Computer systems down losing all my recipes..OK this sounds more like bitching..Really I have an awesome crew and we laugh allot! The world in the kitchen is a strange place, we are mostly like minded in our pursuits. The one thing we all agree on is food=sex. So our humour tends mostly to be about sex. Sexually harassing each other is common and accepted, kind like our version of a high five. Titty twisters and laughter are given when the citrus beurre blanc splits and I have to teach the cook how to save it. It is common to great each other with Good morning kitchen kunts! The words fuck you provokes laughter and not threat, and are mostly spoken to the food and not each other.

My life there is divided into different sections:

Day time cooks that do the production for the concessions.

The amazing ninja like catering team that caters in any part of the Aquarium at night from total scratch.

There is 2 sections of office bitches; the day time event coordinators, head of recieving, projections, and Cafe Managers..I share an office with all these bitches...this where yelling is a form of an intercom system. Our office is the Ghetto of the aquarium. Our only saving grace is have a window that we can watch the beluga whales from under water. I know How freaking cool is that!!!

The second section is of those that think they are the elite of all office bitches. They are in a brand new office wing that is shared by many different departments..cubical world. They are the event planners. Our Boss is over there too, only he gets a real office. You will probably here alot of swearing when I talk about the event planners..They fuck up everything..I am not kidding here..they dictate how a function will be run from set up to tear down.

And the last of my agony is the Fucking BBQ cooks in the concession. BBQ is like doing a tour of duty. Hostile working conditions, heat that can go above 45'c. the rushes of demanding people. Slinging out hundreds of hotdogs, hamburgers, french fries and fish and chips ever day. I did my tour of duty up there I did 2 summers and a winter..I lasted more than most. The long days of sweating my ass off and going home smelling like a rotten hotdog..ah the glamours life of learning to be a cook.

I am glad I started this blog, I feel kinda free in telling the world about my working life..ok it is my only life at the moment..but I love it!